March 28, 2025

"Parenting Your Parents" | Navigating the Complexities of Caring for Aging Parents

"Parenting Your Parents" | Navigating the Complexities of Caring for Aging Parents
"Parenting Your Parents" | Navigating the Complexities of Caring for Aging Parents
Aging Today Podcast
"Parenting Your Parents" | Navigating the Complexities of Caring for Aging Parents

Navigating parenting your parents with Frances Reaves
 
Frances Reaves, an elder law attorney and author, and host Mark Turnbull talk about the complexities of aging and caregiving. Frances shares her personal journey of caring for her parents and...

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Season 9

Navigating parenting your parents with Frances Reaves

Frances Reaves, an elder law attorney and author, and host Mark Turnbull talk about the complexities of aging and caregiving. Frances shares her personal journey of caring for her parents and husband, highlighting the challenges and emotional toll of these experiences. The conversation delves into the importance of planning for aging, including legal considerations, long-term care insurance, and the role of family dynamics. Frances emphasizes the need for proactive measures to ensure a fulfilling life after 65, encouraging listeners to embrace aging as a time for growth and opportunity.

• Frances Reaves shares her personal story of caring for aging parents.
• The importance of long-term care planning cannot be overstated.
• Navigating family dynamics is crucial in caregiving situations.
• Medicaid is not just for the poor; it can benefit middle-income families.
• Personal care contracts can help protect assets while providing care.
• Long-term care insurance can significantly reduce financial burdens.
• Relationships play a vital role in the aging process.
• It's never too late to mend family relationships.
• Planning for the future includes understanding legal documents like wills and trusts.
• Aging should be embraced as an opportunity for growth and fulfillment.

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Sponsored by ComForCare Home Care of West Linn /Portland Sound and Royal Hospice Care Oregon.

#aging,#elder care,#long-termcare,#familycaringforagingparents,#dynamics,#estate,#parentingyourparents,#complexitiesofaging,#planning,#Medicaid,#caregiving,#personal care contracts,#spirituality,#relationships,#agingparents

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WEBVTT

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We are the podcast where together we explore the many

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options to aging on your terms. Today we are talking

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to Francis Reeves. She's an elder law attorney and an

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author and an advocate for our seniors and for those

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that are aging in the aging process. She's written a

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book and the latest book is Boomer's Booming, and we're

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going to be discussing that a little bit. But the

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name of her company is Parent Your Parents, and I

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want to spend some time talking about what that means.

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It's a great name. It's a great name for a

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company because it's very very descriptive, and we're going to

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be talking about what that means. So Francis, well, welcome

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to Aging Today.

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Thank you, Mark, it's a delight to be here. Thank

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you very much.

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Yeah, we're looking forward to our conversation day. I did

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have a chance to read your book and it was

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very compelling, it was very thorough. But before we get

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into that, I want to hear a little bit about

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your story. We always start our segments out with what's

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in your story. We're not so interested in what's in

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your wallet unless you have a plethora of greenbacks to

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share with all of our listening audience, we're more interested

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in your story.

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Well, my story is mom and dad. That's sort of

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what got me here. What happened was mother had dementia,

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my brother and I. My brother lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

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I live in Miami, Florida, and mom and dad lived

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in Houston, Texas. So as a consequence, I would go

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probably once a month to visit. My brother had children,

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et cetera, so he would go probably every other month,

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every three months. And we both noticed that there were

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issues with Mom, but we kind of did the kid thing. Oh,

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everything's fine, everything's fine. Then Dad had his ninetieth birthday.

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It was a huge family reunion, and it was very apparent.

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Now at this point we had already gotten dad someone

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to come in four hours a day, but it was

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very apparent that that just wasn't going to cut it

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at this Dad's ninety, Mom was eighty four, and the

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I still remember the day after the party, were doing

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a brunch at their home and Mom says to me,

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I need to go home now, I'm really tired. And

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she was at home. So Matt and I, my brother

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and I had to get moving, and it was it

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was a lesson in how badly seniors or elders are

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treated in the United States of America. If I hadn't

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been a lawyer, I fear for what would have happened

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to Mom and dad. My father was a World War

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Two vet. Mom was a PanAm flight attendant. They had

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lived all over the world. She was a SUMA or

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one of those cum Laudie graduates of America and University.

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We were not talking about stupid people here. So the

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first thing we had to do is move them to

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either Miami or Atlanta. And of course Dad was like

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your parents, as we discussed earlier, I'm going to die

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in this house, and well you can't, Dad, because nobody

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lives here, and so he chose Atlanta.

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And that makes it and that makes it very difficult

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for a lot of families because we're such a transient community,

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you know society where in the earlier days, children and

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parents and grandparents all stayed in the same community. Now

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we live in multiple different states exactly, Yeah, and that

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makes it more challenging. How did you how did you

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handle that traveling back and forth. You were in Florida

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and they were in Houston. I mean, that's that's got

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to be wearing and taxing on you as well well.

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I have to say, if it was, I never noticed

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it because what was important were Mom and Dad. And

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I give my parents full credit for raising us to

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be the type of children who were willing to put

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anything down to make sure they were okay. And I

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wish I could say, oh, no, I'm such a wonderful person.

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They had nothing to do with it. But it has

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been proven to me time and time again. You know,

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it was as I told my father when he would

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get upset because he felt as though I was taking

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away from work, I would tell him it was an honor.

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It was an honor to be able to do something

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that could help him out. Because what ended up happening

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is we got him into a place mother could not

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be sustained there after sixty two years of marriage, they

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were going to have to be separated. They had long

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term care insurance. She was going to go into one place.

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He was going to go live with my brother and

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his wife. They had a basement apartment until he could

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decide what to do next. And after a year there,

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it was after a year with my brother, he was

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the one who decided it was time for him to

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go to an assistant living in, which he did just

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you know, because there were other people his age there,

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and it was you know, I had to go back

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to Houston, excuse me, and clean out that home. My

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brother was in charge of Atlanta, trying to get mom

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put together. Get all. Mom had some fabulous jewelry. Of

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course I wanted at all, but understood that we had,

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you know, and and so we had to do all

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that sort of thing. What is it we want? What

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is it that we're going to sell? But it's not

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like you can call someone and say, Hi, Mom and

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Dad need to move. Is there a senior moving place

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there isn't, Or Hi, mom and Dad need help. How

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can we get some help. Oh, you'll have to qualify

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for Medicaid, or you'll have to qualify for this thing.

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I mean qualification in and of itself. Is I charge

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money for it? So and the other thing that was

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is so annoying for Medicare is that they send you

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this thing that says this is not a bill, but

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it looks just like a bill. And your dad would

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look at it and he'd go, Now, he calls me, Franny, Franny,

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what what is it this means? And you know, I

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look through it. Oh Dad, you might be billed this

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much from your you know, once you understand it. But

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it's not like they make it easy or intuitive. Why

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are you sending me something I don't have to pay?

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You know? So, I'm sure someone with bigger brains thought

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of that well.

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I think. I think the whole process of aging is

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a very complex process. And if we don't prepare ourselves

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and we're not prepared, usually as the children of mom

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and dad, the ones that are aging, we're not really

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that well prepared.

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We're not.

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So that's what I want us to discuss today is

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how can you help us to become more prepared, because

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when we're proactive, we can begin to see some of

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the sequences that go along with the aging process. And

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one of the things that I think it's very difficult

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for us boomers to understand. We're in our sixties seventies.

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I'm at the tail end of the boomer generation. I'm

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sixty seven, so you know, the older ones are just

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approaching in their eighties, but they're still you know, they

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got most of it together.

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We've got it all.

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Yeah, we got it going on. But mom and Dad

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don't and it's very difficult because and that's why I

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love the name of your company. It's Parent your parents,

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and it's I think it's a it's a switch that

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we need to turn on in our brains that when

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we are brought into this world, we need a lot

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of assistance in order to survive and with with activities

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of daily living, all those things you know as a child.

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And then it's really interesting. I think we all kind

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of know this intuitively, but we're not really prepared for it.

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When we actually see mom and dad needing that same help,

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it's like reverting back to your two year old days. Well,

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and it gets it gets more progressive. It depends on

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how much cognitive issues that you know mom and dad have.

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Mom and dad have, well, I have to you know,

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it's funny because I've done it now with mom, and

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then I've also done it with a husband, having the

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husband incontinent, having a person who you were married to,

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and and pooping in your bed and all this stuff

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that is much worse than your parents. I'm just here

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to put that out there, and you you yourself, if

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you're the caregiver, have to decide is this really what

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I want to do?

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If it's for you're talking about your quality of life exactly.

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And if that's what you want to do, that's a

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okay with me. I am a lawyer who works full time,

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and it's not what I wanted to do now with mom.

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With Mom, it was interesting. I was visiting her and

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this is just shows you the difference. I was visiting

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with her and she had come into my room and

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was laying on the bed, and you know, we were

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just being mom and daughter. And then all of a sudden,

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this I guess happens with dementia. Let me knock on

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ward here. Mom had to go to the bathroom and

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then she goes, oh, I've got to go. I've got

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to go, and then she didn't make it. And so

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there it was, right, you know, number two all over

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right in front of the bathroom and it wasn't pretty.

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And Dad, of course, you know, I'm guessed, started I said, Dad, please,

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I'll take care of this, and Mom was like, oh,

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you know. Then I say to Mom, I said, Mom,

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how often did you have to do this for me?

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And she goes, you know what, you are right, I

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was constantly having to clean up after you. And it

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all went away, It all went away because you know what,

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that was my mother. She had to take me through

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that whether she wanted to or not, and chose to

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do it by having me. And so so the so

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parenting your parents is a very different modality, I guess

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than parent then taking care of a loved one, because

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in my case that person was not the man i'd marry. Yeah,

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so I'm just saying that it's not all the same.

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Well, like you, like you were saying, is that you

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also have a job again, and you know, you're an

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attorney and you're an elder law attorney and you have

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to go to work. People are depending on you. And

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when you stay up all night long caring for you know,

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your husband and all of his needs and he's not

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sleeping well or he's having to go to the bathroom

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which is very typical amongst seniors three four times a night.

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Well, and you smell where to get up? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

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none of it, it's none of that is fun. But

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on the other hand, the as as sort of you

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know why am I having to do that? Is kind

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of dirty work. The worst part really is the stress,

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and that's why when this happened with mom and dad,

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Dad was fine until the day he died. He was fine,

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but he was trying to take care of mom and

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it was so apparent that that was going to kill him.

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I mean, you know, she was a handful. She was

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always a handful, much like her eldest daughter with whom

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you're speaking.

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Ye, so you know, the fruit doesn't fall far from

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the tree, is what you're saying.

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It doesn't when those.

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Around comes around. Just remember that.

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Well, she was thrilled that finally I had to do

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something because I didn't have children so whereas the other

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two did. And it was like, it's not fair, Francis,

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you know, But I have to say that I'm so

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glad I had the parent experience and the husband and experience,

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because I I'm not speaking from someone who's read about it.

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I'm speaking from someone who's lived it. So and I'm

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not saying I don't have more to learn, because just

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today I went out with a woman in her eighties

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and she taught me something new, something I haven't written

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about or researched. But how hard it is this is

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my next area. How hard it is to have your

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00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:36.159
husband in hospice and be by yourself. I never thought

223
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of it watching him die so but that's a story

224
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for another day. But I mean, there's so much about

225
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this aging process that we as a culture. Although I

226
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think the boomers have started, have started the research and

227
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the act, the action, But these people who are aging,

228
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I mean, as you know, since you've read my book first,

229
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don't think you're aging just because you have a number

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00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:15.320
attached to it, you know what I'm saying. I mean,

231
00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:19.279
my last article was now that I am seventy, I

232
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have to actually internalize it. I don't have to go

233
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out and show everybody I'm still young and all this stuff.

234
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Now internalize the fact that I'm seventy and use it

235
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to my benefit, which, for example, get rid of toxic

236
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people in your life. Some people have done that prior

237
00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:42.000
to me, but I just got rid of toxic people.

238
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I went through that same thing, the toxicity and people

239
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in relationships. Yes, yeah, yeah, and when you have it,

240
00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:53.759
when those are in your family, it's a little more

241
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difficult it is to navigate that waters. But at the

242
00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:00.559
same time, you know there's ways that you can do that.

243
00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:05.120
Do you have any advice for Because it's easier to

244
00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:08.399
get rid of the toxic relationships that are outside of

245
00:16:08.440 --> 00:16:12.919
the family. But inside the family, how do you manage those? Well,

246
00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:14.960
I have one, because there's no such thing as a

247
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perfect family.

248
00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:21.200
No, no, no, no, I have My sister quit speaking

249
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to me, I don't know, three years ago, four years ago,

250
00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:29.440
and it was something that was very unimportant to me,

251
00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:35.279
but something that was important to her. So I did

252
00:16:35.320 --> 00:16:43.120
my best. I apologized. I called I and I think

253
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it was last year. Once again, I went through the

254
00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:51.679
whole rigmarole. Can can I just come and you know,

255
00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:58.559
let me do it in person? And the answer was nope, nope, nope.

256
00:16:58.919 --> 00:17:02.360
And you know what I did. I accepted it. Yeah,

257
00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:07.240
I accepted it. Okay, there's nothing And if tomorrow she

258
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:12.680
calls me and needs me, I'll talk to her. I mean,

259
00:17:13.160 --> 00:17:17.400
none of this, I have. Whatever I did, it's something

260
00:17:17.559 --> 00:17:20.960
I wanted to mend it. She didn't. But you have

261
00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:25.359
to accept that you can't control how that other person

262
00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:31.799
feels about you, period. And it's hard. It's hard, you think,

263
00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:34.599
I mean, we all think, especially when you're the oldest child.

264
00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.799
I'm the oldest, you know. I never thought it would

265
00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:40.880
last as long, but it has. And I think she's happy,

266
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and if she's happy, I'm happy for her. I'm very happy.

267
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I am on a mission.

268
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:54.559
I think it's important because families are families, and you know,

269
00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:58.599
there's no guarantee that just because we're part of a

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family that there's going to be hard harmony in that family.

271
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In fact, you know, in realistic you know, reality says

272
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that if you've got individual personalities, just guarantee that there's

273
00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:14.799
not going to be harmony. And but I think the

274
00:18:14.920 --> 00:18:19.839
key is respecting each other's you know, yes, respect the

275
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boundaries it's okay, and agree to disagree and to be

276
00:18:24.200 --> 00:18:25.920
able to say, you know, I'm not going to agree

277
00:18:25.960 --> 00:18:29.400
with you on you know, the way you're caring for mom,

278
00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:31.359
or I'm not going to agree with the way you're

279
00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:35.559
caring for dad, or how the money is being handled,

280
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:37.960
and on and on and on and goes all the

281
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:44.160
different ways and reasons you're even even politics gets into

282
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it and it's like, oh my god, it really stop,

283
00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:49.920
stop with all this, and just can't we just all

284
00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:54.000
get along? And the truth is no, we can't. So

285
00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:59.160
accept it. Build those boundaries like you were saying, I

286
00:18:59.240 --> 00:19:05.000
love that, And but you don't need to excommunicate family

287
00:19:05.079 --> 00:19:10.720
members from your life forever. There's there's gonna be times

288
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:13.759
when you can really I get hang in that book.

289
00:19:13.799 --> 00:19:16.599
To her as much as I did my brother. Yeah,

290
00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:19.240
you know, because she was raised in the same family.

291
00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:22.799
I know you addressed that in your book Bloomers.

292
00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:27.880
No, oh, okay, I do not no reason to this is,

293
00:19:28.119 --> 00:19:30.799
you know, but I will say what I did address

294
00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:34.599
in the book. It was my mother and I. We

295
00:19:34.599 --> 00:19:37.839
were oil and water the entire time I was growing up.

296
00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:41.000
She was five two, I was five ten. You know,

297
00:19:42.680 --> 00:19:46.000
she I had a personality. She didn't know. I was

298
00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:49.240
much more like my father in a personality which you'd

299
00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:51.680
think she would sort of love because she loved my dad.

300
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:56.599
But she she was a silent generation. And here I

301
00:19:56.759 --> 00:19:59.839
was this woman who was like, I'm not gonna have

302
00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:02.119
to learned to clean house. I don't want to learn

303
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:04.400
how to cook. You know, I am going to go

304
00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:06.400
to college. I am going to go to law school.

305
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:09.960
I'm going to be And it was what she'd wanted

306
00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:14.200
to do but couldn't because she was that in generation.

307
00:20:14.920 --> 00:20:19.319
But when mother became sick, When Mother I still remember

308
00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:23.200
the moment where I said, I looked in the mirror

309
00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:29.640
and said, Francess Reeves, get over yourself. Your mother gave

310
00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:35.720
you life, and look at what a great life it's been.

311
00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:40.200
So do what you have to do for your mom.

312
00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:44.039
And then I'm telling you, none of those people wanted

313
00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:46.880
to see me coming in because if Charlotte, my mother

314
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:49.200
hadn't been treated right, they were going to hear it

315
00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:54.920
from me. And so it's never too late.

316
00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:58.720
Yeah, and your role then changed as a daughter to

317
00:20:58.839 --> 00:21:02.759
become a protector as well. I mean, yeah, I mean

318
00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:06.079
that's that's the same you. It sounds like you didn't

319
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:09.960
have children, so you hadn't experienced being a parent protecting

320
00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:13.440
child children. But now you are. You're the parent to

321
00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:18.279
your parents. You're fulfilling all those things that you you

322
00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:21.839
missed in your earlier years. Girl that my.

323
00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:25.680
Siblings talked about that. Yeah. And and but you know,

324
00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:29.559
if anyone out there has an issue with their parent

325
00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:33.039
that can be solved, the only reason I'm going to

326
00:21:33.160 --> 00:21:36.160
tell you to do your best to solve it for

327
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:41.599
yourself is because they're going to die, most likely going

328
00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:46.759
to die before you. And honestly, the fact that Mom died,

329
00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:49.160
I was with her. She died at one am in

330
00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:52.160
the morning, so I wasn't with her when she died,

331
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:56.279
but I was with her that that day and we

332
00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:00.599
were doing She couldn't talk or anything because she'd a stroke,

333
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.720
but her little eyes were moving. And so we used

334
00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:05.240
to when I used to go visit her, we used

335
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:09.039
to sing songs together, you know, the Mom playlist, Frank Sinatra,

336
00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:11.039
Ray Kniff, Mitch.

337
00:22:10.839 --> 00:22:16.319
Miller and Bennett and Bennett, Yeah.

338
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:22.920
And and and so I just sang. I just sang,

339
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:27.119
and you know, did things. And you know, it's hard.

340
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:30.000
It's hard when you know they're gonna die. It is hard.

341
00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:35.240
But but something else that I thought was helpful was

342
00:22:35.359 --> 00:22:41.079
last rights. Mom had been a religious Anglican and Episcopalian.

343
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:46.000
So we my brother and I and my dad, we

344
00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:49.079
all got together and had last rights for mom, which

345
00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:52.920
really calms you down, which kind of shocked me. I mean,

346
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:53.759
I wouldn't have known.

347
00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:57.440
How did that calm you down? Now? And you're you're

348
00:22:57.480 --> 00:23:00.559
saying that you're not so much of a spiritual or

349
00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:01.440
religious person.

350
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:04.759
In other words, I don't think anyone would think about

351
00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:06.079
getting last rites for me.

352
00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:09.559
Yeah, yeah, but it did something for you to explain

353
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:11.640
what did that mean? What did that mean?

354
00:23:13.160 --> 00:23:16.720
You're asking me that mark what happens is I, of

355
00:23:16.839 --> 00:23:21.559
course was doing acts of kindness and what once we

356
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:26.119
could tell she'd had this stroke, I was crying, and

357
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:30.599
I was, you know, putting lotion on her and you know,

358
00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:35.240
trying to brush her hair and holding her hand. But

359
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:38.680
I couldn't quit crying, you know. And Dad was right

360
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:42.960
there with me. But he's mister stoic, you know, World

361
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:48.440
War two, uh I Regima guy, you know, And and

362
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:54.079
he it was interesting how just stoic he was. And

363
00:23:54.119 --> 00:23:59.519
so then when Matt said, well, let's bring Mark and

364
00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:04.400
his priest. Let's bring Mark in to do last rites,

365
00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:07.079
and I said, oh, man, okay, Mom would really like that.

366
00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:12.039
And there's just something calming about, you know, no matter

367
00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:16.200
how you feel about the Lord or Jehovah or whatever,

368
00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:21.000
you know, take this woman into your arms, up, up,

369
00:24:21.079 --> 00:24:26.960
up up. And of course the priest is also soothing

370
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:34.160
to the family. And and because I knew how Mother

371
00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:38.400
felt about it, it made me feel better for mother.

372
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:40.119
Does that make sense?

373
00:24:40.440 --> 00:24:42.599
Yeah, yeah, so I.

374
00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:51.279
Think I think that's that sort of that's what did it. So,

375
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:56.519
So if just because you're not a religious person doesn't

376
00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:59.480
mean that if your parents or your sister, brother or

377
00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:03.359
whoever is having the issues in front of you, if

378
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:07.799
that's something that would benefit them. I promise you it's

379
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:08.880
going to benefit you.

380
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:14.680
Yeah. So it's called respect. That's respect for our elders

381
00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:19.680
and honor your mother and father. And that's a way

382
00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:22.720
to do that. That's a very practical way. Even it

383
00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:26.200
may not be your belief system, it was their belief system.

384
00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:28.400
And you gave him that gift.

385
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:31.960
That couldn't have cared less. Yeah, you know, he died

386
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:35.480
four months later. Matt couldn't believe he died when he

387
00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:38.079
did because it was in the middle. It was halftime

388
00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:41.279
during a football game, and he goes, I just can't

389
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:45.920
believe dad died during halftime. You know, it's a whole

390
00:25:46.279 --> 00:25:49.759
It was a whole different messaging with my father, you

391
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:53.440
know what I'm saying. And then it was like, oh, no,

392
00:25:53.599 --> 00:26:00.640
he died not knowing.

393
00:25:58.519 --> 00:26:01.079
So well and he probably would. Was he in battle

394
00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:07.759
in so he saw probably too much to death at

395
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:08.319
that Yeah.

396
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:10.680
No, No, he wasn't a marine. He wasn't you know

397
00:26:10.759 --> 00:26:14.039
the guy who was in there. Yeah, he'll tell you.

398
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:16.400
I was in the Navy. I was on the destroyer

399
00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:17.759
sending the.

400
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:20.680
Bombs in Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay.

401
00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:23.640
Yeah, but you know, he he saw not only death,

402
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:27.680
but a lot you know over there, the Japanese were

403
00:26:29.039 --> 00:26:31.519
If you're a student of history, you know, the Japanese

404
00:26:31.599 --> 00:26:35.680
were not easy warriors. They you know, if you lost

405
00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:38.440
a battle and you were the commander, you had to

406
00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:42.160
commit suicide. They call it Harry Carey, which was a

407
00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:44.200
shock when I found out he was also a sports

408
00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:51.039
announcer for the Chicago Cubs. YEA to this restaurant in Chicago.

409
00:26:51.480 --> 00:26:54.200
Had they called it, it's Harry Carey's I'm like, oh

410
00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:57.960
my god, that is so weird to name it a

411
00:26:58.200 --> 00:27:01.240
suicide to act by the jap These.

412
00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:05.440
Yeah, No, totally different thing, totally different baseball.

413
00:27:05.880 --> 00:27:06.079
Yeah.

414
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:12.480
Yeah. So when you have some of your clients that

415
00:27:12.559 --> 00:27:16.599
come to you for the very first time, how do

416
00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:22.079
you approach them and getting them prepared because they don't

417
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:25.359
even know what they don't know. That's exactly that's the

418
00:27:25.960 --> 00:27:29.279
biggest challenge to the whole aging process is we just

419
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:30.920
don't know what we don't know.

420
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:36.319
You're absolutely right, and I wrote since you read it,

421
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:38.880
you know that I wrote boomers Booming. The first half

422
00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:42.279
of the book is really about going out and having

423
00:27:42.279 --> 00:27:46.480
a good time and not letting age define you. And

424
00:27:46.519 --> 00:27:50.759
one of my one of my favorite people is Winston Churchill,

425
00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:56.359
who at the age of sixty six, when the median

426
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:00.519
age for men dying in Great Britain was sixty two.

427
00:28:01.359 --> 00:28:07.759
Winston Churchill came into power as Prime Minister during World

428
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:11.319
War Two had just started, and he took his country

429
00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:19.200
through World War Two. Then he was not elected. You know,

430
00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:23.440
a lot of war presidents and prime ministers aren't reelected.

431
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:29.759
They it's a whole different thing. But so he is

432
00:28:30.200 --> 00:28:34.440
now seventy one, so he's you know, still an MP,

433
00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:40.079
and it's seventy seven. He came back as Prime Minister

434
00:28:41.079 --> 00:28:45.680
just in time to have Elizabeth the First ascend to

435
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:50.240
the throne. And so first he takes us through war.

436
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:54.279
Then he takes us, not us, but us as a

437
00:28:54.400 --> 00:29:01.000
nation through this young twenty two year old not only

438
00:29:01.039 --> 00:29:05.279
losing her father but also having to take on becoming

439
00:29:05.319 --> 00:29:15.000
the queen. And and he died at eighty one, where

440
00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:19.319
most men in his country were sixty two. And never

441
00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:22.960
once people would call him an alcoholic, but no one

442
00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:26.559
ever once said he was demented. All you have to

443
00:29:26.599 --> 00:29:30.720
do and and remember Winston Churchill in his early days

444
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:37.039
when he was Lord Lord Chancellor of the war. It

445
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:43.400
was during World War One he lost a huge battle galopoly.

446
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.319
I mean, and it was the Australians and the Key

447
00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:50.400
the New Zealanders who lost a lot of the people

448
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.519
in this battle. And I mean he had to resign

449
00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:59.559
in disgrace. So from that he got wise right, And

450
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:05.079
so tell people stop thinking you have quit aging. I

451
00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:08.720
mean that you have quit living. I mean I choose

452
00:30:08.759 --> 00:30:13.200
to continue working. But there are people who continue to travel,

453
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:17.319
who are doing nonprofit work, who are using their wisdom

454
00:30:17.400 --> 00:30:23.039
and experience and and and the intellectual abilities that they

455
00:30:23.079 --> 00:30:25.039
have to move forward.

456
00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:30.359
Yeah, So Booming Boomers. Booming is a book about living

457
00:30:30.519 --> 00:30:33.640
your best life possible after the age of sixty five.

458
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:36.440
In other words, just because you turned sixty five does

459
00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:38.359
not mean that you were to take your life and

460
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:40.759
put it on the shelf and give up.

461
00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:44.400
And which it means your insurance is cheaper.

462
00:30:46.519 --> 00:30:53.519
You get Medicare. You can then have a Social Security. Yeah,

463
00:30:54.039 --> 00:30:55.039
get social Security.

464
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:57.319
I mean, I'm sorry, what's wrong with that? A little

465
00:30:57.400 --> 00:30:59.880
extra money? Yeah, you have to pay insare?

466
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:01.759
Friends Yeah yeah.

467
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:04.960
Yeah. So I mean I think that's how we should

468
00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:08.960
look at it. And I think whatever you choose is

469
00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:12.319
what's okay. In other words, not everyone is going to

470
00:31:12.440 --> 00:31:15.640
choose to travel the world or might not have the

471
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:20.240
resources for I had a woman who had been my

472
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:23.720
manicuris for a very long time, and she was just

473
00:31:23.880 --> 00:31:27.920
so happy to retire to read all the books she'd

474
00:31:27.960 --> 00:31:30.839
never read. Okay, what's wrong?

475
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:34.000
And a lot of people they take on they become

476
00:31:34.119 --> 00:31:38.960
artists in their sixties, you know, they part Yeah. Yeah.

477
00:31:39.640 --> 00:31:43.240
There was several people that I've known that we've cared

478
00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:46.160
for over the years, and it wasn't until they reached

479
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:49.519
their seventies and their eighties that they begin picking up

480
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:54.920
a paintbrush and started painting it. Oh my goodness, incredible.

481
00:31:56.160 --> 00:31:58.440
You know, sceneries and things that they put on the

482
00:31:58.480 --> 00:32:01.240
canvas that I can't even imagine, and how you know,

483
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:04.920
it was lying dormant in them. I'm hoping that I've

484
00:32:04.920 --> 00:32:07.240
got some of that in me, but I doubt it.

485
00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:11.720
Well, what about President Bush? President Bush too, Yeah, you

486
00:32:11.720 --> 00:32:17.279
know he now does all those wounded warriors, He does

487
00:32:17.319 --> 00:32:20.720
the wounded warrior portraits. I think some of that is

488
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:24.640
that ten year war in Afghanistan. But yeah, I mean,

489
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:27.160
no one else did anything for the Vietnam vets like

490
00:32:27.240 --> 00:32:29.519
he's done for the wounded warriors. When it comes to

491
00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:36.000
trying to portray his feeling because that boy never saw war.

492
00:32:37.880 --> 00:32:42.119
So you know, but what you have to do to

493
00:32:42.279 --> 00:32:45.960
live a good life is planned for it. And that's

494
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:51.119
about four pieces of paper, well, four documents. The first

495
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:55.920
one is a power of attorney, the second one is

496
00:32:56.240 --> 00:33:02.240
a healthcare proxy, the third one is a will, the

497
00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:07.079
fourth one is a trust. Now, a will is always

498
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:11.079
incorporated into a trust, and people seem to think that

499
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:14.720
because they don't have a lot of money, they don't

500
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:19.000
need a trust. So I'm going to start with why

501
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:20.200
you need a power of attorney.

502
00:33:20.839 --> 00:33:21.039
Oka.

503
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:27.000
A power of attorney gives to somebody you trust all

504
00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:31.079
your powers should something happen to you. And this doesn't

505
00:33:31.079 --> 00:33:33.920
necessarily mean death. You can be in a car accident

506
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:37.079
and out for two or three weeks. So you know

507
00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:39.799
what I'm saying, Someone's got to pay those bills. Someone's

508
00:33:39.799 --> 00:33:43.319
got to tell the bank what happened, you know, And

509
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:46.519
that's the power of attorney. And I almost always suggest

510
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.960
too for a couple of reasons. First of all, you

511
00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:53.839
you sort of have a check. In other words, the

512
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:56.519
first power of attorney can't just take it all because

513
00:33:56.519 --> 00:33:59.960
it's a dangerous instrument. Once you sign it that power

514
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:04.519
attorney can go almost anywhere and take out your money. Now,

515
00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:08.599
in Florida, we have what's called durable power of attorney,

516
00:34:08.679 --> 00:34:13.119
which means all the person has to do is sign it,

517
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:19.000
and they their agent can go do all the stuff

518
00:34:19.039 --> 00:34:25.400
they've signed. In. Let mean, Missouri is a good example.

519
00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:29.559
In or New Mexico. In Missouri and New Mexico, they

520
00:34:29.559 --> 00:34:32.360
have what's called a durable but they also have a

521
00:34:32.440 --> 00:34:37.320
springing power of attorney, which means that two one or

522
00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:43.599
two doctors have to say you're incapacitated prior to a

523
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:48.719
power of attorney being able to take something on. Now,

524
00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:54.199
the healthcare proxy, that is, of course, when you're in

525
00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:58.280
the hospital same car accident right and say you have

526
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:04.119
diabetes or you know, I'm pretty lucky, I'm not very sick,

527
00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:06.000
so I don't I don't know a lot of what

528
00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:14.599
you could have, but you your healthcare proxy allows you

529
00:35:14.639 --> 00:35:18.400
to go to that hospital and say, listen, this person

530
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:22.079
is also diabetic, so they're going to need this. Here

531
00:35:22.280 --> 00:35:25.440
is the list of their medication, and unless you give

532
00:35:25.480 --> 00:35:28.159
me a good reason not to do it, he has

533
00:35:28.199 --> 00:35:36.159
to be on there. These medications must be given. The will. Now,

534
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:40.239
a will every state has different rules. But here's one

535
00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:44.280
thing about wills. It will go through probate. And probate

536
00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:46.360
means you're going to go in front of a judge.

537
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:52.840
You're going to hand the will into probate court and

538
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:59.639
then after paying an attorney for Every statute's different, but

539
00:36:00.039 --> 00:36:02.400
it can run depending on how much money it is.

540
00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:06.320
The more money you have, the higher the probate costs.

541
00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:10.440
Even though they're the same. You know, it makes no sense,

542
00:36:10.559 --> 00:36:14.239
you know what I'm saying. It's the exact same actions,

543
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:19.800
it's just more money. So and then the judge finally says, Okay,

544
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:23.840
this is what he wanted, and so the will is done.

545
00:36:24.039 --> 00:36:27.320
And then a trust. What's good about a trust is

546
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:32.480
that it bypasses probate, but a trust is more expensive upfront.

547
00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:40.280
So I also talk about there are many financial instruments

548
00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:44.119
that you can use between trusts and wills to sort

549
00:36:44.119 --> 00:36:50.320
of keep things out of probate. So that is what

550
00:36:50.360 --> 00:36:53.159
you have to do before you go out and have

551
00:36:53.239 --> 00:36:55.280
a good time. And I'm just going to give you

552
00:36:55.400 --> 00:36:58.760
several examples of what has happened. One of my favorites

553
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:02.480
is Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn did everything she was supposed

554
00:37:02.519 --> 00:37:04.320
to do. You know, she had a little trust. She

555
00:37:04.360 --> 00:37:07.519
had two sons. She had a trust, and then she

556
00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:12.400
had the poor overwill. And in the trust and poor overwill,

557
00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:16.639
she said to the boys, you all split my movie

558
00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:21.960
memorabilia fifty to fifty any way you want. That took

559
00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:29.599
twenty five years. Twenty five years because Audrey hepburn movie memorabilia.

560
00:37:29.800 --> 00:37:30.960
Do you know how much that's worth?

561
00:37:31.480 --> 00:37:34.320
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, I can only imagine.

562
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:42.360
Yes, that was exactly Another big favorite, Aretha Franklin. Aretha

563
00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:47.880
Franklin knew she was going to die. She had pancreatic cancer.

564
00:37:48.280 --> 00:37:51.400
The doctors had told her. She knew, she knew, she knew.

565
00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:54.920
She had four sons. She dies, she doesn't have a will.

566
00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:58.280
Then all of a sudden, about a week later, each

567
00:37:58.360 --> 00:38:03.719
son found a will. And uh, then the IRS came

568
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:06.239
calling and said no, no, no, no, no, she ows

569
00:38:06.360 --> 00:38:09.519
is eighty million dollars in backpaxes.

570
00:38:10.719 --> 00:38:11.039
Ouch.

571
00:38:11.519 --> 00:38:17.400
Yeah, So until the IRS was done, nothing else. And

572
00:38:17.719 --> 00:38:22.599
remember they also are going to value her music going forward,

573
00:38:23.239 --> 00:38:24.960
I mean respect R E.

574
00:38:25.159 --> 00:38:25.800
S P E C T.

575
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:29.559
I can't even imagine how much how much that one

576
00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:35.320
song is worth. And and you know, and the IRS

577
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:39.800
takes their tax up front, so it took five years

578
00:38:39.800 --> 00:38:45.719
before the boys got anything anything. So I'm just saying,

579
00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:50.960
you know, that's why you have to plan. I mean,

580
00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:58.719
how much money was spent on lawyers between Audrey Hepburn's sons,

581
00:38:59.800 --> 00:39:06.360
that valuing every piece just with you had to have

582
00:39:06.440 --> 00:39:09.760
it with Aretha Franklin. You had to have that IRS

583
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:12.679
lawyer there a lawyer for each of the sons. And

584
00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:20.320
then of course the judge appointed the personal representative and

585
00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:23.239
he was paid a handsome salary. I mean we're talking

586
00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:25.239
millions of dollars.

587
00:39:25.679 --> 00:39:28.280
Where did they fall? I mean, where did the attorneys

588
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:32.039
not do a good job of protecting you know, those

589
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:35.360
individuals where they just in over their skis. They didn't

590
00:39:35.400 --> 00:39:38.079
know what they didn't know until it got into the

591
00:39:38.119 --> 00:39:41.000
court system. But you would think that they would be

592
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:45.559
elder law attorneys. You would think that they would know

593
00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:48.079
these things. And that's why you hire.

594
00:39:48.800 --> 00:39:52.280
You know, here's the issue now in Aretha Franklin's case,

595
00:39:53.079 --> 00:39:56.360
she's like, my husband, he's not going to die, just

596
00:39:56.440 --> 00:39:59.880
ask him. He wasn't going to get Alzheimer's, just ask him.

597
00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:02.760
I mean, he was in his family. Four of his

598
00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:06.719
uncles had it, he would not get long term care. No,

599
00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:09.039
he wasn't going to get it, and nor is he

600
00:40:09.079 --> 00:40:11.400
gonna die. He didn't have a will. I finally put

601
00:40:11.440 --> 00:40:14.880
together a will and had him sign it. And I

602
00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:18.159
put together the power of attorney and the healthcare proxy,

603
00:40:18.599 --> 00:40:21.519
put myself there and had him sign it. I mean,

604
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:25.480
and that's exactly who Aretha Franklin was. Now, what could

605
00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:28.920
have happened with Audrey Hepburn. But I don't know what

606
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:33.519
could have happened with Audrey Hepburn is the attorney said, well,

607
00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:36.199
miss Hepburn, you know this is going to cost a lot.

608
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:39.320
Oh no, no, no, no no. The boys get along

609
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:44.440
so well, I just don't that's not gonna happen. I mean,

610
00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:49.880
I you know, sometimes you can't convince them otherwise. Now

611
00:40:49.960 --> 00:40:54.719
here is, without a doubt, my favorite. And this was

612
00:40:54.760 --> 00:40:58.760
a lawyer who did his own trust. But guess what.

613
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:02.360
He was a real estate lawyer and he owned the

614
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:07.920
Miami Dolphins. His name is Joe Robbie. So Joe Robbie

615
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:12.320
owned the Miami Dolphins, and he owned the stadium called

616
00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:20.440
it Joe Robbie Stadium. And he died. He and his

617
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:24.800
wife had eleven children and when he died, he had

618
00:41:24.840 --> 00:41:30.480
there were nine left, and he had he put together

619
00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:35.039
his own trust, which, by the way, I did, and

620
00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:37.079
now I have to redo it because I forgot about

621
00:41:37.079 --> 00:41:39.519
a special needs trust for my husband in case I

622
00:41:39.559 --> 00:41:43.480
predecease him. So just saying, you know, we lawyers shouldn't

623
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:48.159
be doing our own trusts. So he put together his

624
00:41:48.199 --> 00:41:52.639
own trust and in it he had three of his

625
00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:59.280
kids as the trustees. Right, So three of his kids

626
00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:01.960
were the trustees, and then he had one kid who

627
00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:07.199
worked for the dolphins. So the three trustee kids went

628
00:42:07.239 --> 00:42:13.840
in and fired their brother. Mom got really angry, I mean, like,

629
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:17.199
why are you firing him? There's no reason to fire him.

630
00:42:17.480 --> 00:42:21.039
And they were like, well, Mom, you know Dad didn't

631
00:42:21.079 --> 00:42:23.960
appoint you as a trustee. He appointed us, and we're

632
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:31.360
doing what's best for everybody. Well, in this trust, Joe

633
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:36.159
Robbie had put what we call an intervevos and a

634
00:42:36.800 --> 00:42:41.840
trust that's alive to support his wife. Am I getting

635
00:42:41.880 --> 00:42:44.599
too technical? Are you trying not to yawn?

636
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:48.760
No? No, it's good. It's a great story because I think,

637
00:42:48.840 --> 00:42:52.519
you know, the majority of us aren't of that kind

638
00:42:52.519 --> 00:42:55.639
of wealth. But it's interesting to hear the story and

639
00:42:55.920 --> 00:42:58.079
after you get down with telling this story, I want

640
00:42:58.159 --> 00:43:01.719
you to go a little bit into where maybe the

641
00:43:01.719 --> 00:43:04.880
rest of us live, where you know, mom and Dad

642
00:43:04.960 --> 00:43:09.599
got a little estate and you know it's not that big, okay,

643
00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:12.000
but any keep going because it's a great story.

644
00:43:12.280 --> 00:43:17.639
Well here's what Mom did. She said, all right, I'm

645
00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:25.960
going to claim my dowager share. In other words, he

646
00:43:26.679 --> 00:43:31.000
had left her a trust, but not money, and he

647
00:43:31.119 --> 00:43:34.159
was worth a whole lot of money and had not

648
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:38.360
left her a third. He had left her the intervew

649
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:40.760
votes trust, which was going to be fine. I mean,

650
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:43.639
you know, she was going to live just fine. But

651
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:47.119
what she said is, all right, kids, I'm going to

652
00:43:47.239 --> 00:43:51.239
go and claim my one third of my estate because

653
00:43:51.320 --> 00:43:54.960
i'm his wife. It's called elective share, and you can

654
00:43:54.960 --> 00:44:01.159
elect to take a third of whatever your spouse has

655
00:44:01.639 --> 00:44:03.519
if they haven't left that to you, you know, if

656
00:44:03.519 --> 00:44:07.159
they've already left it to you. And they said, oh no, Mom,

657
00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:10.920
you can't do that because we can't afford the taxes.

658
00:44:12.199 --> 00:44:16.519
They fought her all because they'd have to sell to

659
00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:20.760
give her a third of his estate. They fought her

660
00:44:21.079 --> 00:44:24.400
all the way to the Florida Supreme Court, and she

661
00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:29.639
won the elective chare you can't touch it. And they

662
00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:37.079
had to sell the Miami Dolphins. Those three trustees got

663
00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:42.159
one ninth of what their father had. The other six

664
00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:46.400
got their one ninth of what their father had and

665
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:50.079
one sixth of what their mother had. And to this

666
00:44:50.239 --> 00:44:56.159
day they don't talk. So be careful when you're doing

667
00:44:56.599 --> 00:44:57.400
these trusts.

668
00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:00.320
And he does funny things to be people.

669
00:45:02.800 --> 00:45:06.679
And if you're the trustee, so you want to talk

670
00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:08.440
a little bit about folks.

671
00:45:08.159 --> 00:45:11.960
Like you and me, Yeah, well, at least me. Now

672
00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:16.639
I'm with you, you know. And one of the things

673
00:45:16.719 --> 00:45:20.079
I think I remember reading in your book, it was

674
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:26.440
about you made the statement medicaid is not just for

675
00:45:26.599 --> 00:45:32.519
the poor, and so the question is how can medicaid

676
00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:36.440
work for the middle incomers, and which is the majority

677
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:39.639
of us. And you know, in the state of Oregon,

678
00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:43.039
you know, at least for medicaid, in order to apply

679
00:45:43.079 --> 00:45:45.960
for medicaid, you have to virtually have nothing, I mean

680
00:45:46.840 --> 00:45:50.320
less than two thousand dollars. And you can own your

681
00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:52.440
own car, and you can own your own home, but

682
00:45:52.480 --> 00:45:55.159
you got to have income coming in. But there's also

683
00:45:55.320 --> 00:45:58.360
what's called an income cap trust that allows you to

684
00:45:58.400 --> 00:45:59.239
protect yourself.

685
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:02.519
But I don't know if you have that in qualified

686
00:46:02.519 --> 00:46:03.199
income trust.

687
00:46:03.559 --> 00:46:07.920
Okay, so explain for the rest of us out there,

688
00:46:08.159 --> 00:46:14.679
how then, Because so just and my listening audience knows

689
00:46:14.679 --> 00:46:19.199
this about me, I own an agency for in home care,

690
00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:23.159
and I own a hospice. Hospice is fine because Medicare

691
00:46:23.239 --> 00:46:26.719
covers the total cost of that. However, in home care

692
00:46:27.519 --> 00:46:30.800
comes out of your own pocket. And in the state

693
00:46:30.840 --> 00:46:34.199
of Oregon, because of all the government regulations and all

694
00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:38.760
the things that Oregon has going for it, people don't

695
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:44.239
realize that I don't pay taxes. I pass those taxes

696
00:46:44.280 --> 00:46:48.280
onto the consumer as a business owner. People don't understand

697
00:46:48.280 --> 00:46:54.280
that yet. So my cost to do in home care

698
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:57.599
is forty seven to fifty an hour. So if you

699
00:46:57.719 --> 00:47:02.360
need twenty four hour care, that's over thirty six thousand

700
00:47:02.519 --> 00:47:06.519
dollars a month for in home care. Who can afford

701
00:47:06.639 --> 00:47:10.079
I can't even afford my own services. I'm just being

702
00:47:10.119 --> 00:47:13.800
transparent and honest here because we as a society got

703
00:47:13.800 --> 00:47:18.000
to figure this out. And I don't know the solution

704
00:47:18.679 --> 00:47:22.880
other than maybe it's a it's a mixture of government intervention,

705
00:47:23.039 --> 00:47:28.239
which I just makes my skin crawl, and but private

706
00:47:28.280 --> 00:47:31.079
pay can't. There's just nobody can afford it.

707
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:33.480
Well, you're absolute, right.

708
00:47:34.039 --> 00:47:39.000
So then Medicaid has to come in somehow, but it's in,

709
00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:42.840
it's in not afford I can't. I couldn't qualify for

710
00:47:42.920 --> 00:47:45.760
Medicaid because I make too much money.

711
00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:53.039
So now what Well, Medicaid planning is my specialty mm hm.

712
00:47:53.480 --> 00:48:05.039
And it's a question of trusts, spend downs, personal care contracts,

713
00:48:08.119 --> 00:48:14.199
and we put it all together. If like, I'm just

714
00:48:14.239 --> 00:48:17.800
going to use my husband for example, because he's in

715
00:48:17.840 --> 00:48:23.199
Medicaid now. So his social security, which is all he had.

716
00:48:24.000 --> 00:48:29.440
His social Security was more than the income in Florida.

717
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:32.920
So I had to put together that qualified income trust

718
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:36.039
and every month I have to put four hundred dollars

719
00:48:36.159 --> 00:48:41.159
into that qualified income trust. And since you read my book,

720
00:48:41.199 --> 00:48:43.760
you know my husband left me in debt and had

721
00:48:43.800 --> 00:48:48.719
spent all his money. So I have to put four

722
00:48:48.800 --> 00:48:52.079
hundred dollars into that qualified income trust. And when he dies,

723
00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:58.159
all that money goes to Medicaid to pay for what

724
00:48:58.239 --> 00:49:02.320
they did, for what they used. Yeah, for what they use. Now,

725
00:49:02.360 --> 00:49:08.679
can you take the time to actually administer that trust

726
00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:12.599
and see if there's anything left for you? You can,

727
00:49:12.800 --> 00:49:17.320
but I don't, you know, I've cut it pretty close

728
00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:19.880
to the bone, so I don't think that's going to

729
00:49:19.880 --> 00:49:26.119
be an issue. So but when you have, for instance,

730
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:30.719
in Florida, the how you the house is exempt, but

731
00:49:30.920 --> 00:49:33.920
only up to six hundred and seventy thousand dollars. So

732
00:49:33.960 --> 00:49:36.079
if you have a three million dollar home, you still

733
00:49:36.159 --> 00:49:41.760
have an asset. You know, it's not every state is

734
00:49:41.880 --> 00:49:47.079
different now, but the way we work it is through

735
00:49:48.960 --> 00:49:54.119
a personal care contract. For instance, the personal care contracts

736
00:49:54.159 --> 00:49:58.559
I've done are usually for children taking care of their parents,

737
00:49:59.480 --> 00:50:06.039
and so so we actuarily. You know, there's all these

738
00:50:06.119 --> 00:50:13.360
actuarial tables that say, okay, dad is eighty five, chances

739
00:50:13.400 --> 00:50:16.519
are he'll live till ninety. So we'll do this on

740
00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:20.960
a five year deal, and then this is what it's

741
00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:24.840
going to cost for us to take care of dad. Now,

742
00:50:24.880 --> 00:50:28.039
taking care of dad does not mean he has to

743
00:50:28.079 --> 00:50:31.559
live in your home. What it does mean is that

744
00:50:31.639 --> 00:50:36.480
you have to pay his bills. That if he's in

745
00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:40.039
a Medicaid facility, you have to hire that nurse. It's

746
00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:42.840
going to take care of him. Bup up up, bup

747
00:50:42.920 --> 00:50:46.119
up up, bup up up the extra food that you know,

748
00:50:48.239 --> 00:50:52.719
there's a formula to it, and that So if you

749
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:59.000
think about let's say fifty thousand dollars a year for

750
00:50:59.119 --> 00:51:01.719
five years, well you can take two hundred and fifty

751
00:51:01.800 --> 00:51:05.559
thousand of it away in a personal care contract. So

752
00:51:05.599 --> 00:51:08.000
you see what I'm saying. So, so if the children

753
00:51:08.079 --> 00:51:12.440
were going to invite inherit the money, they're going to

754
00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:17.199
get it this way. There are some annuities that work.

755
00:51:17.239 --> 00:51:21.360
I'm not I personally don't use annuities. We've had a

756
00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:26.559
couple go bad, you know, so I'm not an annuity girl.

757
00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:30.760
The other thing you can do is buy a new

758
00:51:30.800 --> 00:51:36.079
car that's part of transporting you back and forth to

759
00:51:36.119 --> 00:51:41.920
all your doctor's appointments. You can if they're going to

760
00:51:41.960 --> 00:51:45.039
live in the house, you can get that portion of

761
00:51:45.079 --> 00:51:49.599
the house redone. So you see what I'm.

762
00:51:49.440 --> 00:51:54.079
Saying, walking showers, yeah, yeah, grab bars and all the things.

763
00:51:54.519 --> 00:51:57.599
And not just grab bars. But I don't know, do

764
00:51:57.639 --> 00:52:02.559
you need some painting redone there? And I mean, what

765
00:52:02.679 --> 00:52:06.199
about a couple pieces of artwork just because Mom always

766
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:08.239
liked a little bit of art in a room. You

767
00:52:08.280 --> 00:52:11.960
see what I'm saying. In other words, we I mean

768
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:16.519
that's actually for me, it's kind of fun, you know, like, Okay,

769
00:52:16.559 --> 00:52:20.320
what can we do to qualify you for Medicaid. So

770
00:52:20.360 --> 00:52:24.960
it's not as bad as it looks, and it's all

771
00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:27.679
on the up and up. I mean, you have to

772
00:52:27.800 --> 00:52:29.880
use that money to do what you say you're going

773
00:52:29.960 --> 00:52:30.199
to do.

774
00:52:30.760 --> 00:52:34.800
Sure, Sure, and that's a way to spend down. However,

775
00:52:36.039 --> 00:52:39.159
in the end, after a mom and dad die, the

776
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:41.000
state's going to come back and want it back.

777
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:48.119
No, correct, no, why would they They can't. With this

778
00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:51.039
personal care contract, you were doing what you said.

779
00:52:50.800 --> 00:52:55.639
You're private privately yeah yeah, yeah, no no, no, yeah, no,

780
00:52:56.280 --> 00:52:58.519
I'm referring you also do IOUs.

781
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:02.079
You know, there's this whole IOU thing you can do

782
00:53:02.239 --> 00:53:06.000
where you lend the money to the kids and then

783
00:53:06.039 --> 00:53:08.960
the kids have to pay you back at a reasonable rate.

784
00:53:09.679 --> 00:53:13.840
But if you die, you know, right after, Medicaid doesn't

785
00:53:13.840 --> 00:53:16.960
get that money. It's all in other words, this is

786
00:53:17.079 --> 00:53:20.440
always the only way Medicaid gets the money is if

787
00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:22.880
you're going in over the income cap.

788
00:53:23.559 --> 00:53:26.920
Yeah yeah, yeah, they're going to get that back. That's

789
00:53:26.920 --> 00:53:27.920
what I was referring to.

790
00:53:28.599 --> 00:53:31.480
That what I've done with Tom, I will get none

791
00:53:31.519 --> 00:53:32.119
of that money.

792
00:53:32.639 --> 00:53:33.320
Yeah yeah.

793
00:53:33.880 --> 00:53:37.599
Which, by the way, his brothers don't believe. They think

794
00:53:37.639 --> 00:53:39.000
I'm doing something.

795
00:53:39.039 --> 00:53:43.920
You know, shady under the table there. Yeah, well they

796
00:53:43.960 --> 00:53:46.559
can listen. They can listen to this show, and you

797
00:53:46.719 --> 00:53:49.840
stated it publicly now so that you're not going to

798
00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:51.280
incriminate yourself.

799
00:53:51.920 --> 00:53:54.559
One of those brothers is totally on the toxic list.

800
00:53:54.639 --> 00:53:55.199
Oh my god.

801
00:53:55.800 --> 00:54:01.199
Yeah. So, so I got another quest for you, And

802
00:54:01.239 --> 00:54:04.800
we're running up towards the end of our time here together,

803
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:10.639
but I wanted to ask you in particular. When I

804
00:54:10.760 --> 00:54:14.840
was reading through your book, I was and the situation

805
00:54:14.960 --> 00:54:18.920
that I'm in myself where I'm living with my mom

806
00:54:19.079 --> 00:54:22.159
and was living with my dad but he's passed and

807
00:54:22.199 --> 00:54:26.360
now living with mom, and I begin to think about,

808
00:54:26.519 --> 00:54:31.440
you know, our wishes and we want our best life possible,

809
00:54:31.519 --> 00:54:35.400
whatever that means for each individual's one thing that I

810
00:54:35.519 --> 00:54:39.400
keep going back to is how important family is. And

811
00:54:39.480 --> 00:54:43.119
I know that that's a very difficult thing because a

812
00:54:43.159 --> 00:54:46.880
lot of families are fractured, and a lot of families,

813
00:54:47.440 --> 00:54:50.159
a lot of people don't have family. I mean, I'm

814
00:54:50.280 --> 00:54:55.000
surprised at even my mom and dad's generation, how many

815
00:54:55.599 --> 00:55:01.199
people chose not to marry and they don't have children.

816
00:55:02.039 --> 00:55:06.880
And that's even being as more prevalent today with the

817
00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:11.760
younger or younger generation they've chosen not to marry. So

818
00:55:13.079 --> 00:55:17.719
the family dynamic is important. But I guess sometimes it

819
00:55:17.760 --> 00:55:21.519
comes down to, Okay, how do you define family? And

820
00:55:21.719 --> 00:55:27.360
family can be you know, embracing personal friends, it can

821
00:55:27.400 --> 00:55:31.119
be all kinds of things. But the bottom line is

822
00:55:32.039 --> 00:55:38.800
you've got to make sure don't isolate yourself to the

823
00:55:38.880 --> 00:55:41.760
point where you don't have any family. Whatever that means.

824
00:55:41.840 --> 00:55:48.159
That definition means yeah, because it's a very lonely place

825
00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:52.280
that and I've seen it over and over and over again.

826
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:55.840
When you are eighty ninety whatever and you're going and

827
00:55:55.880 --> 00:55:59.800
you're dying, actively dying. You don't want to be in

828
00:55:59.800 --> 00:56:02.360
that place. It's a lonely place to be.

829
00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:09.960
But chances are I will be. I have no children.

830
00:56:10.840 --> 00:56:14.480
My husband is fifteen years my senior and has Alzheimer's,

831
00:56:14.639 --> 00:56:17.639
so even if he were alive when this happened to me,

832
00:56:18.599 --> 00:56:19.280
it wouldn't matter.

833
00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:25.960
So but you're taking steps. I mean, you have personal friends,

834
00:56:26.039 --> 00:56:26.880
you have I.

835
00:56:27.320 --> 00:56:28.840
Have personal friends. But I'm going to tell you what

836
00:56:28.880 --> 00:56:33.400
I really have. Okay, long term care insurance. Mm hmm.

837
00:56:33.920 --> 00:56:37.519
Because long term care insurance, whether I decide to go

838
00:56:37.559 --> 00:56:41.400
into an assisted living facility and paying six or seven

839
00:56:41.480 --> 00:56:45.719
thousand dollars a month, or have in home care at

840
00:56:45.719 --> 00:56:52.119
my home. It's going to reduce my cost substantially two thirds,

841
00:56:52.159 --> 00:56:59.480
if not three quarters. Yeah, and I I it's so funny.

842
00:57:00.119 --> 00:57:02.920
I tell everyone people say, oh my gosh, long term

843
00:57:02.960 --> 00:57:07.039
care is so expensive. Now they're correct, it is. I

844
00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:10.280
was smart enough to get into it about fifteen years ago.

845
00:57:10.760 --> 00:57:13.400
But here's the bottom line. If you're paying ten thousand

846
00:57:13.440 --> 00:57:15.760
dollars a year for long term care, let's just say

847
00:57:15.800 --> 00:57:19.079
you're paying ten thousand dollars a year. You said it yourself.

848
00:57:19.599 --> 00:57:23.000
A month with tax of in home care is forty

849
00:57:23.239 --> 00:57:27.960
six thousand dollars. But if you have long term care

850
00:57:28.480 --> 00:57:31.400
helping you pay that, all of a sudden, it becomes

851
00:57:31.840 --> 00:57:35.960
a much easier amount to swallow that Maybe you have

852
00:57:36.280 --> 00:57:39.679
in savings, or maybe you're going to have to go

853
00:57:39.800 --> 00:57:45.480
into a living an assisted living facility, but you know

854
00:57:45.480 --> 00:57:50.079
they're going to pay for most of that. So I

855
00:57:50.199 --> 00:57:54.880
call long term care a necessary evil because, believe it

856
00:57:54.960 --> 00:57:57.880
or not, Mom and Dad had long term care and

857
00:57:58.360 --> 00:58:01.719
they were treated so badly by the long term care

858
00:58:01.760 --> 00:58:05.840
people that I finally, it's this long story about how

859
00:58:06.039 --> 00:58:09.800
I finally got their attention through LinkedIn, and they gave

860
00:58:09.800 --> 00:58:14.760
me fifteen thousand dollars because they had miscounted mom. Yeah,

861
00:58:14.840 --> 00:58:18.199
fifteen thousand, and that was my first parry. I thought

862
00:58:18.239 --> 00:58:20.760
they'd come down, which meant I didn't ask for enough.

863
00:58:22.280 --> 00:58:27.760
So I'm just saying, if you are alone, don't wish

864
00:58:27.800 --> 00:58:31.039
that you die before you go into a medicaid facility,

865
00:58:31.679 --> 00:58:34.719
because chances are that's not going to happen. We're all

866
00:58:34.800 --> 00:58:39.239
living longer. And a woman I just ran into the

867
00:58:39.280 --> 00:58:42.199
other day, she's so upset with her brother because of

868
00:58:42.239 --> 00:58:45.800
the way she doesn't like where her mother is, even

869
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:48.400
though the brother is paying for it. And I looked

870
00:58:48.440 --> 00:58:50.760
at her and I said, you know, he's the one

871
00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:53.920
with the money and if he's got your mom in

872
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:58.800
a place where I understand you don't like it, but

873
00:58:58.880 --> 00:59:03.400
your mother is being taken care of. And I don't

874
00:59:04.039 --> 00:59:06.719
say this very often. I told her. I said, remember,

875
00:59:08.039 --> 00:59:11.199
you're going to be in that position yourself, so you

876
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:14.239
might want to make sure your brother loves you too.

877
00:59:15.199 --> 00:59:19.760
Yeah. Amen to that. I better better mend all your

878
00:59:19.800 --> 00:59:22.840
relationships because it's a clue. I don't want to go

879
00:59:22.960 --> 00:59:25.519
into that that last chapter of your life.

880
00:59:25.719 --> 00:59:30.039
Well, and listen, listen, my brother, when all this happened

881
00:59:30.079 --> 00:59:32.639
with my husband, and oh my gosh, I you know,

882
00:59:32.719 --> 00:59:34.440
I didn't know what to do or where to go.

883
00:59:35.119 --> 00:59:37.079
I could call my brother and his wife, and if

884
00:59:37.119 --> 00:59:39.760
I needed three hundred dollars, you know, for a short

885
00:59:39.840 --> 00:59:43.159
term loan, it was. It was in my bank account

886
00:59:43.159 --> 00:59:46.039
that afternoon. And why is that? Because we well, A,

887
00:59:46.280 --> 00:59:54.280
I pay him back. That's but b he he understands

888
00:59:54.320 --> 00:59:57.440
sometimes we fall short, you know. Yeah, I mean, and

889
00:59:57.559 --> 01:00:00.159
the good news is we're past that, you know. But

890
01:00:01.039 --> 01:00:05.519
when when your life explodes in front of you, and

891
01:00:05.599 --> 01:00:08.320
it will, I mean, that doesn't mean you're down and

892
01:00:08.320 --> 01:00:11.039
out for the count. You've already had it explode in

893
01:00:11.079 --> 01:00:14.400
front of you. Otherwise you wouldn't be doing this podcast.

894
01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:19.639
That's right. Let's conclude with this. Let's go back to

895
01:00:19.679 --> 01:00:23.840
your book, Boomers Booming Ye, how to think?

896
01:00:24.079 --> 01:00:25.119
After sixty five?

897
01:00:25.679 --> 01:00:30.960
Yep? What's your favorite chapter? Out of all the chapters?

898
01:00:31.039 --> 01:00:33.400
I think there's like over twenty, isn't there. I think

899
01:00:33.400 --> 01:00:38.320
there's nineteen nineteen nineteen chapters. What was your favorite chapter

900
01:00:38.440 --> 01:00:43.639
that you enjoyed reading the most? That maybe for whatever reasons,

901
01:00:46.280 --> 01:00:47.400
I think I have two.

902
01:00:49.000 --> 01:00:54.480
One is chapter seven, which is, as you know, all

903
01:00:54.559 --> 01:00:58.639
my chapters are titled from verses from songs.

904
01:00:58.920 --> 01:01:02.639
Yes, going to mention that to the listeners today because

905
01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:07.880
some of my favorite bands. Yeah, those are the names

906
01:01:07.920 --> 01:01:08.639
of the chapters.

907
01:01:08.800 --> 01:01:12.159
This one is clap Along if you feel like Happiness

908
01:01:12.440 --> 01:01:16.119
is the Truth, and that's from Happy by Pharrell Williams.

909
01:01:16.679 --> 01:01:19.360
And I just talk about how lucky we are and

910
01:01:19.440 --> 01:01:23.320
how let's pinch ourselves. I mean, I woke up this

911
01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:25.800
morning and I went out to do my walk, and

912
01:01:25.840 --> 01:01:30.880
I got to watch the sunrise. And yet here in Miami,

913
01:01:31.119 --> 01:01:40.360
a very well known congressman died just this weekend at

914
01:01:40.360 --> 01:01:42.559
the age of seventy. He doesn't get to see that

915
01:01:42.639 --> 01:01:47.199
sunrise ever again. I also had a good friend here

916
01:01:47.239 --> 01:01:52.199
in Miami die of a cancer at fifty six. Fifty six,

917
01:01:52.320 --> 01:01:58.079
and we're complaining at seventy. Hey hey, hey, hey hey.

918
01:01:58.199 --> 01:02:07.119
And then I think my other favorite chapter is chapter one,

919
01:02:07.440 --> 01:02:11.719
because I mean that's one where I talk about, you know,

920
01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:17.199
you can't let a number define you. You can't let

921
01:02:17.280 --> 01:02:21.599
someone tell you you're over the hill. Every one of

922
01:02:21.679 --> 01:02:26.119
us is Winston Churchill. We just have to find what

923
01:02:26.199 --> 01:02:29.960
we want to do and go do it. I didn't

924
01:02:29.960 --> 01:02:32.400
talk about the guy who took himself back to medical

925
01:02:32.440 --> 01:02:35.639
school at the age of sixty two. I mean, you know,

926
01:02:36.079 --> 01:02:40.599
there's so many people out there, and to me that

927
01:02:40.920 --> 01:02:43.639
is And of course I love all the photos of

928
01:02:43.639 --> 01:02:49.320
my family. I love looking at mom and Dad getting

929
01:02:49.360 --> 01:02:52.840
married again. I was born nine months and four days

930
01:02:52.880 --> 01:02:53.880
after they got married.

931
01:02:54.440 --> 01:02:59.280
Oh nice, what does that sat? Honeymoon?

932
01:03:00.119 --> 01:03:04.559
I was either conceived in New Orleans or before.

933
01:03:04.679 --> 01:03:08.280
Yeah, yeah, noe. Other two So chapter one is what

934
01:03:08.480 --> 01:03:12.400
good is sitting alone in your room? What song is that? After?

935
01:03:13.320 --> 01:03:19.239
That is from cabaret? What good it is sitting alone

936
01:03:19.400 --> 01:03:25.400
in your room? Come here the music play? I can't

937
01:03:25.440 --> 01:03:26.159
get up that high?

938
01:03:26.400 --> 01:03:28.239
Nicely done. You got a good voice there.

939
01:03:28.559 --> 01:03:33.920
You hit those tunes the caborel chum, come to the

940
01:03:34.519 --> 01:03:36.920
caboet all right?

941
01:03:37.480 --> 01:03:39.639
Well, and then maybe this is a great place for

942
01:03:39.760 --> 01:03:42.159
us to end our conversation. And I just want to

943
01:03:42.199 --> 01:03:45.639
say thank you Francis for being on Aging today. I

944
01:03:45.880 --> 01:03:49.880
encourage our listeners to pick up your book Boomers.

945
01:03:49.840 --> 01:03:57.639
Booming, my website, yourparents dot Com or good old Amazon.

946
01:03:58.320 --> 01:04:01.400
Yeah, and how to Thrive after sixty five And and

947
01:04:01.760 --> 01:04:04.840
you know the thing is that I used to look

948
01:04:04.880 --> 01:04:08.159
at my life in ten year increments. You can Yeah,

949
01:04:08.159 --> 01:04:11.559
and that's true. There's there's chapters. Those are chapter breaks.

950
01:04:12.239 --> 01:04:14.079
But I think that if I would look back on

951
01:04:14.239 --> 01:04:19.880
my years, I saw thirty years in it is, Yeah, thirty,

952
01:04:20.039 --> 01:04:23.239
the first thirty, then the next sixty, and then I'm

953
01:04:23.320 --> 01:04:26.880
looking at the last thirty of my life. You know,

954
01:04:27.039 --> 01:04:31.280
I'm sixty seven, so I'm looking forward to exactly what

955
01:04:31.519 --> 01:04:34.400
your book says is. I want to learn. I want

956
01:04:34.440 --> 01:04:39.480
to live life larger than I can even ever imagine

957
01:04:39.719 --> 01:04:42.239
in the last thirty years, and I'm going to live

958
01:04:42.280 --> 01:04:46.519
it well, I truly am, And that's my goal. That's

959
01:04:46.639 --> 01:04:49.840
I'm just going to have fun and I'm not I'm

960
01:04:49.880 --> 01:04:53.679
still working like you, and I enjoy working, I really

961
01:04:53.800 --> 01:04:58.960
do so, but I want to work less now that

962
01:04:59.039 --> 01:05:01.599
I own my own companies. And but I want to

963
01:05:01.639 --> 01:05:04.000
work when I want to work, and surround myself with

964
01:05:04.679 --> 01:05:10.360
more intelligent people than myself and better looking. So that's

965
01:05:10.400 --> 01:05:13.480
all I that's a and then just keep living life.

966
01:05:14.159 --> 01:05:17.599
We always want the smarter ones around us. Yeah, that's right,

967
01:05:17.840 --> 01:05:19.199
exactly who I look for.

968
01:05:20.039 --> 01:05:24.159
Yeah, absolutely sounds good. Well, it was a delight Francis

969
01:05:24.320 --> 01:05:29.880
having you on. Mark appreciate our conversation, and uh do

970
01:05:30.159 --> 01:05:35.159
pick up her book Boomers Booming, and enjoy that read

971
01:05:35.639 --> 01:05:36.599
because I think it's.

972
01:05:39.239 --> 01:05:42.039
The and the what the right, because once you read it,

973
01:05:42.079 --> 01:05:43.519
you're going to start taking that right.

974
01:05:43.639 --> 01:05:48.679
Oh yes, absolutely, yeah, all right, thank you very much. Well,

975
01:05:48.719 --> 01:05:51.159
this is Mark Turnbull, your host, and I want to

976
01:05:51.159 --> 01:05:54.679
thank all of you for tuning into aging today. Remember this,

977
01:05:55.440 --> 01:05:59.079
we're all in the process of aging and as we age,

978
01:05:59.440 --> 01:06:02.920
we really are are better together. So stay young at heart,

979
01:06:03.920 --> 01:06:04.719
stay young